July 31, 2011

Top 10 Questions NOT to Ask at the Close of Your Job Interview

I was speaking with our company’s Director of HR this past week and he was complaining about a phone interview he had conducted at 6:30 that morning.  Apparently the candidate had come across as a sycophantic douchebag and it hadn’t helped that the Director was hung over from the night before (as human resources employees are prone to be).

The applicant had ended the interview with an enthusiastic, “This company is such an awesome company and seems like a perfect fit for me . . . And you, Mr. DHR, you are such a smooth interviewer . . . You really have your act together!”

Mr. DHR said he threw up a little in the back of his throat.

Mr. DHR commented that the candidate sounded so happy he wondered what he was actually doing on the other end of the phone.  My retort was that the last thing you want to hear at the end of a job interview are the words, “Was it good for you?”

Thus the inspiration for my top 10 list of questions NOT to ask your potential employer at the close of your job interview . . .

10. Was it good for you?

9. Do you happen to have a crack pipe I can borrow?

8. Do you think this rash is an STD?

7. What’s your policy on Internet porn?

6. Have you heard the one about Buddha, Jesus and Mohammed?

5. Do you cut your own hair?

4. Assuming you can’t help but hire me may I start my vacation now?

3. What’s your policy on nose hair ?

2. What’s your policy on speaking in tongues?

And the number one question NOT to ask your potential employer at the close of your job interview . . .

1.       How long have you been gay?

1 comment:

Eugene said...

That's a good list but what if your interview is in San Fransisco? Wouldn't #1 be a standard question then?