Sometimes I receive life-coaching from the mundane . . .
The other day I noticed a shiny new Autumn-esque poster at my favorite Starbucks that read, “Fall back in to just a little time to sit and reminisce”.
A few days later I picked up a book entitled, Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home by Richard Foster. I read a chapter called The Prayer of Examen. The word “Examen” (hence examination) is from the Latin and refers to the tongue, or weight indicator, on a balance scale; thus conveying the idea of an accurate assessment of the true situation.
And then today (and out of the blue) a friend gave me a copy of the book, The Cloister Walk by Kathleen Norris, a pseudo-memoir about her experiences in a Benedictine monastery.
Hmmmmm . . . perhaps I should consider taking some time out of my day to mediate and reflect on my life . . .
I want to reflect. I want to meditate. I want to find the key that unlocks the door leading to peace of mind. But there’s a problem . . .
I suffer from benzo-induced tinnitus; a constant ringing in my head (ears?) that varies in intensity depending on a variety of factors. And it is consistently at its worst when I am at rest or trying to be at rest, as it were.
I have suffered from this malady for close to two years now and there seems to be no relief in sight. I have learned mainly to ignore it, however it can sometimes make me cranky with those I love the most and it certainly interferes with any attempts to enjoy the “peace and quiet”. Or pray. Or meditate. Or reflect on my life. Or just be . . .
So the burning question in the face of all this is what to do next. I suppose I will take a deep breath and just give it the old college try and see what happens . . . Frustrating to say the least . . .
Or maybe I should just read my new book first and take it from there. Yes, that sounds more plausible. Good planning based on useful information certainly can’t hurt.
The other day I noticed a shiny new Autumn-esque poster at my favorite Starbucks that read, “Fall back in to just a little time to sit and reminisce”.
A few days later I picked up a book entitled, Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home by Richard Foster. I read a chapter called The Prayer of Examen. The word “Examen” (hence examination) is from the Latin and refers to the tongue, or weight indicator, on a balance scale; thus conveying the idea of an accurate assessment of the true situation.
And then today (and out of the blue) a friend gave me a copy of the book, The Cloister Walk by Kathleen Norris, a pseudo-memoir about her experiences in a Benedictine monastery.
Hmmmmm . . . perhaps I should consider taking some time out of my day to mediate and reflect on my life . . .
I want to reflect. I want to meditate. I want to find the key that unlocks the door leading to peace of mind. But there’s a problem . . .
I suffer from benzo-induced tinnitus; a constant ringing in my head (ears?) that varies in intensity depending on a variety of factors. And it is consistently at its worst when I am at rest or trying to be at rest, as it were.
I have suffered from this malady for close to two years now and there seems to be no relief in sight. I have learned mainly to ignore it, however it can sometimes make me cranky with those I love the most and it certainly interferes with any attempts to enjoy the “peace and quiet”. Or pray. Or meditate. Or reflect on my life. Or just be . . .
So the burning question in the face of all this is what to do next. I suppose I will take a deep breath and just give it the old college try and see what happens . . . Frustrating to say the least . . .
Or maybe I should just read my new book first and take it from there. Yes, that sounds more plausible. Good planning based on useful information certainly can’t hurt.
4 comments:
My dad has the same thing and it drives him CRAZY. I'll have to ask him if he's found anything to relieve it...
There are only 2 cures to your ailment... less benzos, or more benzos! I vote for more.
Danae - I am interested in any treatment available! Thank you!
Laura - Very funny! I forgot to tell you when we were catching up that another ordeal I went through was major benzo withdrawal. When the tinnitus first started I panicked and decided to go completely off benzos. That 6 week ordeal was hell on earth. I survived, but the tinnitus hasn't ever gone away. One study I read said it could take up to two years and I'm probably at the year and a half mark. Unfortunately, other studies say it may never go away. Poor poor pitiful me LOL . . .
See, if you would have just stayed on them... no withdrawal. LOL:) Just kidding, glad you are "clean and sober"... and a survivor of course.
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